劉en演講去！@Talk UX - *Mila goes on to give her first public speech!* @ MIRAESMILA

好久好久好久沒寫blog了！昨天突然跟朋友提到Pixnet和無名在我們高中大學的時候多重要哈哈！然後跑上來看一下，突然有股想寫個blog的fuuu～～～

so！寫一下去年滿有意義的一個主題囉～～

It's been a while since I wrote my blog! Yesterday someone was talking about how Pixnet and wretch was soooo famous when we were in highschool....so i somehow decided to log in, and had this urge to write =]

so! decided to write about this interesting event that took place last year~

好。半年前收到一個邀請，說是Taipei talk UX，去講一下30分鐘的演講。我完全不知道那個是什麼。但是UX，我不是在公司天天在跟他們team合作嗎？

好啊

所以就答應了

想說大概就一個小教室，了不起20個人。20個人阿姐我ok，反正平常隨便開個大型會都馬30個人+，所以就算丟臉也不會丟太大的臉。。。ok ok

腦袋後面一直有記得有這個演講，但就想說，就是現場發揮那種，沒有在認真準備

ok, so half a year ago, i got this invite from Taipei Talk UX, for a 30min speech. I had know idea what it was about, but I was like, hey, don't I work with my UX team everyday at work?

I'm like - "sure"!

I figured it would be a little classroom, lets say 20ppl max. 20ppl ain't gon' scare me~ I mean, any meeting at work is like 30+ ppl and I'm super used to it. So even if I end up doing really bad...wouldn't be THAT embarrassing...so why not

So I had this "remember that talk you said yes to" thing on my todo list, but I always figured I'd just swing it on stage and play it by ear, didn't really prep for it at all

就這樣過了3個月，收到要提供powerpoint的期限要到了，還要錄一個自己介紹自己的短片。然後付了一個event的link - (這裡）

And there goes 3 months ~ I got this email that I need to send over the ppt, and that I should record a "self intro" clip. They also added the link to the event (here)

我一點進去看。。。。媽啊。。。這來真的耶。。。！！！是個國際化的event耶！演講者都是國外來的某某director某某manager！哇勒！瞬間有種陷到沙坑裡的感覺。

I pressed in.....WTF....they were NOT kidding about this....it was a freakin international event...! A bunch of speakers from all over the world, all some kind of director manager etc etc....my heart sunk...

票價？？9500twd？？開玩笑嗎？？？

揪～竟～該趕快跟主辦單位說 --- 這我不行，然後一輩子被列黑名單，然後自己承認自己是個弱渣。。。。還是。。。。硬著頭皮。。。@#$%⋯⋯⋯⋯&&%$

Here's the entrance price - 9500twd? aka 300usd? no kidding huh...!

So I was debating...should I shoot over an email ASAP to tell them...umm...i'm backing out, and get on their blacklist for the rest of my life...Or....just....bit the bullet and DO IT.

針扎了一個晚上，最後決定。。。反正人生這麼一次，要丟臉就丟大一點。老娘就去！

慘的是，剛好那3個月。。。產品在最後一個build，我整個2～3個月都在出差飛來飛去，我就人生第一次（比唸書上班害認真！！）每次在飛機上準備powerpoint 哈哈哈哈

因為在飛機上不參加會議不接電話不回email不會被囉嗦，可以認真弄powerpoint。。。

同事在旁邊想說，好認真，出差飛機上還拿出電腦來哈哈哈😂

I tossed and turned for a whole night...and decided...FUDGE IT. YOLO dude. If i wanna embarass myself, might as well do it somehting BIG.

The worst thing was...the 3 months leading up to that event...was around the last build of my product luanching that year, which means I was flying overseas like a maniac every other week....and so...for the first time in my life...I was prepping the slides on my flights hahahah

就這樣到了演講當天了。。。進了會場，看到滿滿的椅子跟人潮。。。我都快昏了。。。

Fast forward - the day came...I walked in with my head almost exploding, and when I saw the crowd the set up the..everything...i almost died....inside...

然後再看到牆壁上。。。

大家都有一個很大很大很大的大頭照，其中一個是我的臉。媽呀是我的臉。。。還有公司，還有全名 (幸好是Yien Liu, 不是 Milagros Liu 不然臉丟更大）。。。

Then I looked up and so this big ass board on the wall...everyone had a big ass head shot on the wall and mine of course was there too...BIG ASS FACE WITH BIG ASS NAME AND EVEN THE COMPANY NAME....i was like...(thank god it says Yien, not Milagros, else I have....NO where to hide...)

hmmm。。。不知道這個搞砸了我人生還能往哪裡走。。

anyways，我是那天的最後一個。。。aka壓軸（到底誰那麼瘋，信心過人，把我放壓軸？？）

早上就一直到那邊看我的powerpoint，總覺得哪裡爛爛的。。但fudge it 都到這步田地了，還能怎樣哈哈

連中餐都吃不下

然後到了下午。第一個講完了。。。第二，三，四個講完了。。。下一個就是我了

我前面是一個ibm的director什麼的。講的好到不得了，全場互動，然後還不時的大笑。。。

殺。了。我。吧

Welp! was done was done. I was the last speaker of the day - (who decided that! why!) so the WHOLE day, I was going thru my slides and my talking points again and again, thinking of changing something here and there, and then was like fudge it, what's the point anymore, u already killed urself ur career ur everything.....

Couldn't even eat lunch...

And so the afternoon came...the first one finished, the second..third...k...next one is me....

I had a IBM director right before me, and she NAILED it, the whole auditorium was laughing and throwing comments back and forth...

I honestly just wanted to get hit by a bus at that point ...

我在後台，連汗都流不出來了。。。

就～這樣吧。

傳說中的social suicide大概就這樣。

I figured this was probably the best example of social suicide. Well done Mila.

然後我就上台了！～開始講講講。。。。。

誒。。。。大家笑了！